If there’s one thing you should know about the Horny Girls of TikTok, it’s that we have range. We yearn for the 500-year-old faeries of SmutTok and fantasize over a thirst trap edit of Diego, the sexy sabre-toothed tiger from Ice Age. Our arousal has no limits, and our latest crush is no exception.

He’s tall. He has his own estate ($$$). His dirty talk is unmatched. Oh, and he’s a demon. You guessed it: The girls are horny for Nosferatu.

“My biggest hear me out of the year,” TikTok user @jc12302 posted alongside a lustful Nosferatu clip, with over 700 commenters chiming in. “I don’t need to hear you out,” one replied. “Immediately yes.”

So, who is this enigma that has TikTok in a chokehold? Played by Bill Skarsgård, he’s the star—and villain—of the 2024 gothic horror film, Nosferatu, which is basically Dracula fan fiction meets demon erotica (ideal). (One viral Letterboxd review infamously called it the “horniest vampire move since breaking dawn part 1.”) Nosferatu is a demon-vampire-combo who is likely one million years old and who’s possessed a young woman named Ellen (played by Lily-Rose Depp). He’s obsessed with her and only her, and he’ll do anything to claim her—including really problematic shit like wreaking havoc on her town and murdering her loved ones until she submits to him fully, both physically and spiritually.

Obviously, that’s clearly coercive, evil, and frankly, unpleasant. Like, are the girlies really into the idea of a demon holding them captive and possessing their body and soul? While that scenario may sound very un-fun (and very illegal) in real life, power dynamics and forced submission are totally real kinks, so maybe yes, they are into it in a consensual kink scenario. Just ask your BookTok friends, who are likely more than familiar with faerie smut and monster porn, common forms of erotica that depict sexual interactions between humans and supernatural beings. Add a layer of demonic possession, and you’ve got Nosferatu.

Now, you may be assuming that Nosferatu is really hot, given that his other qualities aren’t exactly thirst-worthy. But that’s where you’d be wrong. Nosferatu is, in fact, super ugly. While Bill Skarsgård is a celebrated fine-ass man, he defied all odds for this film by looking absolutely disgusting—donning long black fingernails, straggly hair, and the body of a veiny, elderly fetus. So, if it’s not his looks that have the girlies thirsting after a ghoul, then what is it?

One word: yearning. Nosferatu is a straight-up yearn-master and the simp to end all simps, going to extreme lengths to lock down Ellen and demonstrate his affection—no, obsession—with her. “I need me a Nosferatu,” wrote TikToker @uncleb00bz, whose video got over 400k views, “because what do you mean you awoke from your eternal slumber and crossed oceans and literal time and space and dreams for her while delivering lines like ‘I’ll never be satisfied till I taste your flesh’ in a deep Transylvanian accent.”

In the age of underwhelming dating app conversations and uninspiring situationships, there is truly nothing hotter—or harder to find, these days—than a 6 '4 man who longs for you with the passion of a Bridgerton character. Considering our standards are right where they should be (read: high) and men continue to demonstrate an "emotional skills gap" (per Psychology Today) that's not not contributing to the male loneliness epidemic, let 2025 be the year of yearning, and let Nosferatu lead the charge. I mean, I got full-on fanny flutters when he said to Ellen, “O'er centuries, a loathsome beast, I lay within the darkest pit. 'Til you did wake me, enchantress, and stir me from my grave.” If that’s not already a Hozier lyric, it should be.

It also doesn’t hurt that in many moments in the film, Ellen seems to experience orgasms mid-exorcism (I mean… sex bucket list item), revealing that there is an element of sexual pleasure within her demonic connection to Nosferatu. Horny Girl TikTok seems to agree that when it comes to dedication and dirty talk (“I am an appetite…nothing more” 😩😩😩), Nosferatu sets the bar high.

That being said, if any rich, tall, yearning men would like to pay me a visit…do so at your own risk. I might make you role-play in a Transylvanian accent.